No More Fiendish Punishment

During my first year on campus our institution was graced by a particular student who'd propel her wheelchair from class to class by puffing on a straw. She appeared to have an assistant in tow, as well, but aside from that she seemed perfectly capable of so much. She'd zip around our accessible campus, her... Continue Reading →

Top Ten Takeaways, So Far

10. My blood, with dangerously low and ravaged B cells no longer producing antibodies with radically reduced platelets in size and number, is not thicker than water after all. 9. I am happier now with my life than I ever was before and now with my terminal diagnosis I have this incredible outpouring of love... Continue Reading →

Terminal Velocity

this diagnosis’ pessimistic prognosis makes me wonder and think in metaphor one of which I read where patient feels a gun pressed against the back of their head but where I am in quarantine it feels less like gun and more like guillotine except I am one hundred eighty degrees out of phase Where others... Continue Reading →

There She Goes

When I was first diagnosed she said she’d grow our food so we knew exactly where it came from and that it was clean.

How Casual I’ve Been

“Cancer… is in fact berserk with the malicious exuberance of killing.” It’s taken three months, but I’m transitioning out of shock and denial. Anger and depression keep knocking at my door, but like a couple of religious representatives, I keep telling them I need to study more - which sometimes puts me back into shock... Continue Reading →


I felt good enough to get out today, so we thought we'd scout out a campground where our whole family will join us in June up in the Manti-La Sal National Forest. We made it to the top of the mountain only to find the dirt road to Indian Springs gated closed. So, we went... Continue Reading →

To Empathize is to Admit its Possibility

When I was kid, around four years-old, my sisters would tune up their guitars and sing together, folk songs as I remember. One in particular haunted my early dreams, a tune by the Journeymen called Five Hundred Miles. You might know it by a more recent release from the film, Inside Llewyn Davis. I still remember the... Continue Reading →

Disruption and Distraction

When I got the call on that February 5th with my results and diagnosis I was sitting behind the wheel of this thing, getting ready to take it out for one last test drive before I handed over the check. Instead I sat there, stunned at the turn my life had just taken. Certainly this... Continue Reading →

What Remission Means

It was great to get the news yesterday, something I had to clarify after reading and hearing the results from Tuesday’s PET/CT-scan. “Does that mean I’m in remission?” “Oh, yes,” said the oncologist as if it were an omission. He predicted this at the onset of treatment, and I was as skeptical as he was... Continue Reading →

That Little Inking

Round 2.2 this morning. Since I’m using this page to chronicle this trip, I’m posting about an experience I had yesterday. I might step on some toes with this, which is not my intent. I might light up some others to post negatively about belief systems and believers, and that’s not my intent as well,... Continue Reading →

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