Category Archives: the grace of divorce

the grace of divorce – why we go: the dyadic shift

Annie is my Golden Retriever of unknown age, we’re guessing around five years. We picked her up from a family who appeared desperate to be rid of her and when we got her home she seemed just as happy to … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: anger

Just a little warning; this gets graphic. I was working on what I had procrastinated most of the last semester of my undergrad work, shortly after I got my four year-old son through his bedtime routine and off to Sandmanland. … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: sex

Between the subdivision where I lived in California and the high school I would eventually attend was a farm with a small stream and giant eucalyptus trees and a trail upon which it seemed okay to trespass. And it was … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: depreciation

Four years into my first divorce I was dropping my kids off at their mom’s house. My little girl was six and my son was twelve at the time and we had reached a point where the routine of visits … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: change

The rotation of his old orb creates two relational influences, of which we can do nothing about. One is time and the other gravity, both of which can be caustic to a marriage. While they are as predictable as a … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: extreme terms

Quick. Think of something you always do or did for your partner. What is it about relationships that drive us to hyperbole? The best sex ever. Always and forever. Lester Burnham’s Spectacular from American Beauty. There’s something about being whooped … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: undefined expectations

It wasn’t until after my mother passed when I had a number of revelations about how she managed our home when I was still living in it. Not sure how much nostalgia changes memories, and death certainly can sanctify even … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we go: unrealistic beliefs

As indicated in expectations, chances are the terminal blow to your marriage wasn’t infidelity or the loss of passion, instead it stemmed from something the two of you may have brought into the relationship long before that smoke-filled crowded room. … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we stay: commitment

No other two tiny words in the tongue we speak bind more folks than these, I do. And while there are many variations on this declaration, the outcome is the same, at least on a legal level. You’re committed. Promise, … Continue reading

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the grace of divorce – why we stay: emotional attachment

The one in the relationship with the least amount of interest is the one with the most power. It’s a simple concept that wields a punch. Upon hearing and understanding its meaning all kinds of flashbacks zip through your mind. … Continue reading

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